JESUS/SINS/HELL

If Jesus died for your sins, who is in Hell and why are they there?  Did Jesus die for everyone’s sins or a select few?  Which sins did he die for?  All of the one’s you’ve commited?  What if you commit a new sin like adultry, is that one forgiven immeadiately also or is there a time lag?

If it’s true that he died for your sins and all future sins are forgiven….again….who is in hell and why are they there?  Christians will say…non-believers…that’s who’s in hell.  Where and how they got their information is a mystery.

Then they’ll say you have to ask for forgiveness.  It’s awful missleading to say he died for your sins and not mention…and, oh!! by the way only if you ask for it.  Not only that it doesn’t sound very fair and compassionate.  I’ve been told that his father Gawd loves me and watches out for me.  Something is not right here.

Then there is this business of hell, eternal damnation, fire, weeping and knashing of teeth.  You can get use to anything after awhile.  Eternity, how long is that?  Do you cheat the devil when you get cremated?  Want your ashes warmed up?  Is it safe down there?  What’s the food and sanitary conditions like?

Then there’s heaven.  I spent my whole life chasing whores and drugs and I get there and there ain’t none.  Why call it heaven?  You tell me I don’t need them ’cause I’m with God.

First off if he luvs me so much he can trust me enuff to make my own decisions.  When the Muslims go to heaven they get thirteen virgins.  Is that in the same heaven?  Where’s that at?  Is heaven….Gawd forbid…segregated?  Gotta’ keep them Muslims and Jews apart.  You know how they be squabbling.

You know it’s hard enuff keeping one woman happy let alone thirteen young’uns.  You know there’d be a lot of jealousy going on. (Why you screwing her so much and ignoring me?  I need a big one you know) What happens if they get pregnant?  Where’s the hospital?  Who’s gonna’ feed ’em and who needs all those kids around? Couldn’t I smoke a little weed and hang out with one or two of ’em?

Another question is, if a person is sick for along time and go’s into a coma when let’s say there 90, is that the kind of body they have in Heaven?  What good are thirteen virgins for a 90 year old guy who is so feeble he can’t walk or hold his bowls?  Someone call that compassionate god.

What do the wimmen get, an even dozen young healthy studs?  How’d they get to Heaven without waiting in line?

What about Angels?  A lot of middle age white wimmen with flowing robes and small breast and wings to small to work.  I’ve seen pictures of little angels with even smaller wings all of them naked.  When do they start wearing clothes and why?

Then there’s this business of purgatory.  I guess when they’re (who ever that is and how do they decide…???) not sure when you die whether you should go directly to hell like some you have to hang out there for eternity which is probably a lot longer than six billion years, waiting for “judgement day’.   Ever wonder what conditions are like there?  What do you do?  What do you eat?  You can play a lot of chess.  Can you have sex if you want to and are able?

Then comes judgement day that happens after eternity. Probably a lot of “qwicky trials”  After all some people been waiting since the beginning of time.  Other’s not so long.  Some go to heaven, some go to hell.  I’d be awful Gawd damn pissed if I had to spend six billion years waiting only to be told NOW I can go to heaven.

Then there’s Adam and Eve. (Not Adam and Steve) Were they created as young adults with no prior experience and knowledge?  One little slip up with help form a talking snake (tell that to a judge) and it’s eternal suffering.

Well we got to assume that they made a baby.  No mid-wifes around yet let alone a hospital.  Then they must have made another one.  Incest is in evitable here.  Signs of in-breeding are everywhere today.  Barrack Obama, Newt Gingrich….BLOOMberg…!!

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