Aug 16, 2013


  Was a Tues.  I had a 1:30 pm appt @ the Tinton Falls V.A. I got up early, round 8.  I headed 4 the Bradley Beach Food bank.  On impulse I felt like some morning wine.  So I stopped @ the liquor store for a bottle of red.  Fox Horn  Merlot.  It has a twist off top.  Don’t gotta’ carry a cork screw round and be poppin’ a top.


The Indian guy who runs the place calls me Baboo.  That’s what I call him.  I took my bottle of red back to the car.  Twisted off the twist off and took a couple of healthy tugs.  Then went and picked up some food @ the food bank.


Went back to my room and laid down with the bottle.  I thought I might pick up a little bit of weed on the way home.  Close the door and mellow out.


I was a little early 4 the V.A. so I went to the art supply store and bought some charcoal pencils.  2  #4b’s and 2 6b’s. 


I arrived @ the V.A. clinic in the Atrium, 55 Gilbert, Tinton Falls, N.J.  I checked in with the seal @ the desk and waited 2b called.  Wasn’t long.  Got weighed in by the nurse in a zebra outfit with matching shoes.  Took my vitals then took me down the hall to the Indian pill pusher.


I must digress.  This story gets so funny.  I’ll try to tell it the way it happened, then make comments about a different point of view


She is a small woman. We went over my blood work.  Glucose level needs attention.  Do I drink?  Yes, red wine.  Do I smoke?  Yes, marijuana.  I shouldn’t.  Why not?  I asked her if she ever smoked pot? No.  Then how do you know it’s not good 4 U?


Next question;  RU depressed?  Sometimes.  Do you think of suicide.  Yes.  Do you want to talk 2A councilor on a screen?  o.k. She jumps up and runs out of the room (and runs down the hall to snitch to mama.  Mama  (another nurse, probably in charge) is a large woman who reminded me of a German hause frau.)


I’m escorted 2 another room and sat in  front of a computer screen.  It’s an empty room.  I’m told she is going to the rest room. (Didn’t help, turns out she was full of shit)


She returns.  A young black girl.  Maybe a psych student at Brookdale. Am I depressed? Yes.  Have you had thoughts of suicide?  Yes. (Truth is depression comes and goes.  Suicidal thoughts, absolutely and 4 good reason.) 

Do I have a plan? (No.  I had three plans.  Multiple choice.  Pick the one U like)


I told them 2 her.  No sooner had I done that then two cops walk in the door and say I gotta’ go with them.  Shoulda’ never sed nuffin.  I’m escorted outside.  While I’m being searched I can see the the big nurse watching me out the window.  Got another one.


I’m put in the car and driven to the Riverview hospital in Red Bank.  If I was gonna’ make a break I should have done it B4 I went inside.  Cause inside I was escorted to the rear of the emergency room and directed to a bed in the hallway.  I can’t believe what is happening.  A nurse is standing next to the bed.  I realize she is a guard.  Someone sez:  I should be here a couple of hours.


Then comes little fat Pat the orderly.  Wants me to change  into a gown.  I don’t want to, ain’t gonna’ b here dat long.  Pat’s sez:  it’s hospital policy.  Ain’t mine, no.  Pat sez he’s gonna’ call security.  Do it.  He does.  Bunch of older thugs show up and tell me they’re gonna’ cut my cloth’s off me with scissor’s.


What was I suppose to where home.  They were gonna cut the black turtle neck sweater (My favorite) that I snitched from the Salvation Army.  When one of the nurses sed she’d go in the rest room and help me change.  I thought going into the rest room with her (She was nice) and changing with her…never can tell.


Inside, alone I took my cloths off hoping she would too. 

(Alternate version:  She did and wanted me bad and did some serious gropping.  I told her no, we might get caught if we didn’t come out soon.  I was worried they’d notice the hicky)


In the hallway I told one of the thugs fuck you.  In the hallway the nurse from the dressing room sed I’d probably yell @ her if she brought me food.  She then brought a tray and placed it next to my bed. (Why do wimmen always want to feed me?) By now I was too upset to eat.  I went to the V.A. and was kidnapped.  No appetite.


A room opened up.  The guards were changed.  The original nurse gave way to an old white haired dude who was followed by a couple of Haiten wimmen who rattled on for hours in French.  Fat Pat listened to his Ipad.  I paced in my room.


Finally a shrink shows up.  Young attractive.  Black hair, tights and boots (Better to kick your butt with)  We found a room where we could talk.  She didn’t want to let me go.  I was concerned the car would be towed.  Then there was Rufus my ferret.  He’d worry if I didn’t come back to feed him and whip his butt.


She sed she’d talk to her boss.  She came to the room and told me I have two choices, voluntarily commit my self to the crisis unit or be committed.  1st she would have to call in a screener and have me evaluated. Because one shrink sed I couldn’t go the screener probably would agree.


When would the screener b here.  Don’t know, maybe 2 morrow.  He showed up in a couple of hours.  Talked a little then came back and sed I have two choices.  I can voluntarily commit myself to the crisis unit or be committed.  Might b 3/4 days b4 that happened.  then I’d have to get a judge to let me out.  He told me I didn’t want to go there.  Leaving was not an option.


Shit city.  I went 2 the V.A. for a check up was kidnapped, threatened 2 have my cloth’s cut off and now I’m, being coerced into staying.  I was worried about the car and Rufus and signed.  Her darkness was gleeful.  I laid down.


After awhile some guy named Gus came in.  He sed he was here to take me downstairs (into the dungeon where I’ll never be heard from again.)  I was placed in a wheel chair and wheeled thru a darkened lobby to an elevator that descended into hell.  I was certain the lobotomy surgeons would be waiting at the bottom


I entered the door that sed CRISIS.  I was put in a room.  Soon a woman came in, who I’ll call Mountain Mama.  She was huge.  Probably a friend of the devil.

She took my vitals and just stared at me thru her glasses.  I signed some more papers (I probably signed 20 documents while I was there. ) Couldn’t tell you what any of them sed.  I was given back most of my cloths, escorted to a two bed room.  A beached whale was in the other bed snoring so loud the windows rattled.  I asked for a sleeping pill.  It didn’t work. 

In the morning I heard my roomy moving around.  He was talking to someone @ the door.  I had heard trucks outside in the nite.  I rolled over there was a window.  It was lite.  I peeked outside.  We were next to an underground garage but I could see the Navasink river.


I got up and wandered down the hall with the other patients.  At the end of the corridor was a activities room.  There was a tray of food for me.  Scrambled eggs, oatmeal and orange juice, maybe a roll. On tray was a menu that you could order your next meal from.


When I finished I returned my tray to the rack and sat down to observe what was happening. I noticed one woman.  She was Latin.  She was bundled up like she was cold. The rest were your basic run of the mill lunatics.  Some Jerzi boys and gurls.  Some older types.  A old lady that let everybody know she was Irish and would be o.k. when she got home and got the right medicine.  Fat & black my roomy, Silly Willy was there.


I was aware that there would be group meetings but now it appeared to be free time.  I sat on a couch.  After awhile the woman I noticed came and asked if was o.k. to sit next to me.  She was very demur.  We talk a little, then after awhile she got up and left.


2b cont’












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