LESBOS

 

I drove cab at night for many, many years. Lately because of the recent interest in marriage equality I was trying to remember some lesbian stories.

Two came to mind.  The first was when I was driving cab at night in L.A.  One night somewhere near 8th and Alvarado (McArthur Park) I picked up a little butch.  Lesbians run a spectrum from lipstick types to dykes on bikes.  This was a definite butch.  Small, spiked hair..etc.

I thought she was funny cause she was talking a mile a minute.  Probably on meth.  Any way she wanted to know if I wanted to buy some weed.

I told her yes.  We went to some place.  She wanted me to give her the first money.  That’s a no-no.  You never give them the money.  They don’ come back.  She was talking so fast I was amused and decided to chance it and gave her thirty dollars.  She didn’t come back.  Pissed me off.

 

It’s kinda’ dumb to rob a cab driver.  He’s always around.  I watched for her for a couple of weeks.

Sure as shit I spotted her and a blond woman near Pico and Alvarado.  I was on the West side, they were on the East. I parked and crossed the street.  when the blond woman saw me coming she started putting her hand inside her coat, like she was reaching for a gun.

I confronted them and demanded my money.  Needless to say she didn’t have it but did admit to ripping me off.

It’s been so long I don’t exactly remember what happened next….but I didn’t get paid.

One day I spot her and another woman/girl her size going into a dirt alley.  I follow them down it and confront her again.  Seems the other one was a gangbanger and because she was on her home turf threatened me.

I drove down to the end of the alley, made a U turn, step on the gas and went for them.  They saw me coming and made a mad dash for a little space between some garages.

I remember seeing them out of the corner of my eye as I went by huddling against each or as the dust and dirt covered them.  Never got the money but a good laff.

 

The other event happened in Charleston, S.C. It was a busy Saturday night.  Everybody wants a cab at the same time. The call was on James Island.

I pull up.  The door is open and lights on.  I honk, no response.  Wait, honk, wait some more, nothing.  Starting to get pissed.  It’s busy, I call the dispatcher.  She sez; I’m early.  So I honk and wait some more.  Fifteen minutes has gone by.  Fuck this, if they really wanted a cab they’d be watching for it.  Just as I pull away a woman comes to the door, so I stop.

The one at the door was an obvious lesbian.   Three (Not so obvious)  got into the cab.  They wanted to go to the lesbian bar.  I told them I’d been honking for fifteen minutes.  One said they were told the cab would be twenty mins.

I explained to them that was an estimated time.  If you called a cab and were told twenty mins. would you then set an egg timer and expect that the cab would pull up when it ringed.  Highly un-likely, therefore the cab will be either early or late.

If you don’t watch for it and it shows early you may miss it.

Then one of them said they were in the back room watching Water World.  I told her she should have been watching out front where the cab would appear not in the back watching the T.V.

…what did you expect…a little sign popping up saying your cab was out front.

I don’t think they appreciated that.  The one in the front seat said I was obnoxious.  We were in the middle of no where on a long brigde so I pulled over and demanded payment in advance or they could walk.  Never can tell if their gonna’ pull some shit when they have reached their destination.

 It has occurred to me that someone may object…accuse me of portraying lesbians in a bad light.  Maybe I should write some positive stories.  I would but I haven’t got any to write

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